A story that pleases me will have a couple of well developed characters, a relationship, and something plotwise outside the relationship. I like plot, that's the point of a book. I like sex, too, but sex has to drive the plot. The daily drivel of the character's lives in between sex scenes is not plot -- plot has conflict and resolution, and it needs to make sense. Logic fail will get noticed out loud and if I can't find the plot beyond "hawt guys fuck" you can call me Cryssy Crankypants.
Things that stop me in my tracks:
- Rape, unless it's a past trauma and offstage
- Incest, especially twincest. A survivor is fine, but current relationship -- NO
- Non-con -- don't kid yourself, the right name is rape
- All the squicky stuff that epublishers put in their 'don't submit to us' list
- Most BDSM. Personal preference, no apologies. Please don't offer it. Absolutely no pain play, blood play, flogging, bondage, humiliation, gagging, CBT. If it requires implements, I don't want to read it, I don't have to explain why, and I don't want to be nagged for exceptions. Wheedle or push, and I will review, using boilerplate. "Book, DNF, author, TSTL."**
- Het. Really, people. I'm not the right reviewer for that.**
- Dub-con. We might not agree about where the line is. I'm likely to be more restrictive in my definition than you are.
- Soul mates -- this one hits the gag reflex, no matter what the writing looks like, 99 times out of a hundred, and the hundredth one is probably involving a non-human. A deep bonding after personalities get explored is fine, just no "only one personnnnnn in the universssssse for meeeeeeeee!"
- BDSM of the non-implement variety. Psychological aspects might be okay, but know you're taking a risk.
**Yes, someone tried. Learn from their error.
This is not to say I will never read BDSM, it's just that I will choose it myself. I already know of one book I intend to read that has some psychological elements going, but I don't expect it to be a regular thing.
What happened was a classic case of how not to ask for a review. It went something like this, and I paraphrase to protect the guilty.
Review my book please.
No thanks, it’s het.
Review my book.
No, it’s heavy BDSM.
REVIEW MY BOOK.
I ALREADY SAID NO.
*I SAID* REVIEW MY BOOK.
And I don’t want to set the keyboard on fire again by repeating what I said after that. Maybe instead of “No” I should have said “Shakespeare” or “Chrysanthemum.”